Either I admitted he was right or I slept with three of his friends at once!
What kind of a wife wants that? On the other hand, there was no way I was going to admit he was right, and no amount of rough sex, first anal sex, or double penetration was going to change that! See All Customer Reviews. Shop Books. Add to Wishlist. USD 2. Sign in to Purchase Instantly. Explore Now. Buy As Gift. Overview How would you like to read this story? Here are the rest of the stories! King, presented it in September at a conference in Rome. Listen to the audio version of this article: Feature stories, read aloud: download the Audm app for your iPhone.
King showed the papyrus to a small group of media outlets in the weeks before her announcement— The Boston Globe, The New York Times , and both Smithsonian magazine and the Smithsonian Channel—on the condition that no stories run before her presentation in Rome. Smithsonian assigned me a long feature, sending me to see King at Harvard and then to follow her to Rome. I was the only reporter in the room when she revealed her find to colleagues, who reacted with equal parts fascination and disbelief.
Within days, doubts mounted. Others deemed the text suspiciously in step with the zeitgeist of growing religious egalitarianism and of intrigue around the idea, popularized by The Da Vinci Code , of a married Jesus. The controversy made news around the world, including an article in these pages. A year and a half later, however, Harvard announced the results of carbon-dating tests, multispectral imaging, and other lab analyses: The papyrus appeared to be of ancient origin, and the ink had no obviously modern ingredients.
A determined forger could obtain a blank scrap of centuries-old papyrus perhaps even on eBay, where old papyri are routinely auctioned , mix ink from ancient recipes, and fashion passable Coptic script, particularly if he or she had some scholarly training. But the scientific findings complicated the case for forgery. But skeptics had identified other problems. But years later, they still gnawed at me. But the closest thing he had to corroboration was a photocopy of a signed sales contract. The contract recorded his purchase of six Coptic papyri, in November , from a man named Hans-Ulrich Laukamp.
The contract said that Laukamp had himself acquired the papyri in Potsdam, in Communist East Germany, in Munro wrote that a colleague had looked at the papyri and thought one of them bore text from the Gospel of John. Perhaps conveniently, every player in this story was dead. Peter Munro died in , the colleague he had supposedly consulted about the papyri died in , and Hans-Ulrich Laukamp died in But was there a lack of information?
Or just a lack of investigation? The owner, for one, was still alive and had known Laukamp personally, King told me in I searched public documents and found just one American city that had ever been home to a Hans-Ulrich Laukamp. The Laukamps might never have left their small Berlin apartment were it not for a late-in-life reversal of fortune.
In , Laukamp and his friend Axel Herzsprung, a fellow toolmaker, went into business together. Laukamp, then in his mids, bought a Pontiac Firebird and nudged Herzsprung and his wife to build a vacation home next to his in Florida, where the Laukamps hoped to one day retire. But those dreams evaporated almost as soon as they landed in the Sunshine State. Helga was diagnosed with lung cancer, and Hans-Ulrich took her back to Germany, where she died in December at the age of The company filed for bankruptcy in August , and Hans-Ulrich died four months later, at 59, after lung cancer metastasized to his brain.
Walter Fritz still lived in Florida, and on paper he looked like an unremarkable local: 50 years old, married, with a single-story house in North Port, 30 minutes east of Venice. If Fritz stood out for anything, it was his civic ardor. He wrote eloquent letters to the editor of the North Port Sun.
He led neighbors in a successful protest against overhead power lines. In , Fritz had founded a company called Nefer Art. He had used infrared photography to decode textual minutiae on a 3,year-old Egyptian tablet. I wondered whether the author of the article and the Florida auto-parts executive could possibly be the same man.
I called several prominent Egyptologists, who told me that the article—which had reoriented a debate over whether Akhenaten and his father served alone as pharaohs or together as co-regents—remained influential. I flew to Florida in November to learn more about Laukamp, but Fritz had come to seem almost as interesting. I planned to knock on his door with some questions. A twitchy brown dog watched me from beneath a no trespassing sign. I idled my rental car outside the gate, considered my options, and then drove back to my hotel.
I asked to meet him. He abruptly declined, grew agitated, and made clear he wanted to get off the phone. He had never studied Egyptology at the Free University, he said. He had never written an article for a German journal. But when I asked whether Laukamp had been interested in antiquities, Fritz bristled. The daughter of a pharmacist and a schoolteacher from a Montana cattle town, King enrolled at the University of Montana, where a course on marginalized Christian texts spoke to her in almost personal terms. Harvard Divinity School hired her in But after Constantine converted the Roman empire to Christianity in the fourth century and Church leaders began canonizing the small selection of texts that form the New Testament, Christians with other views were branded heretics.
Its text spans 14 lines on the front and back, forming incomplete phrases presumably snipped from a larger manuscript. It showed merely that one group of ancient Christians believed Jesus had been married. All three thought the papyrus looked authentic. I happened to arrive in Cambridge, to interview King, on the afternoon she received word of the unfavorable review.
She knew how high the stakes were, for both history and her own reputation. I was interviewing King in her office the next day when an e-mail from Roger Bagnall popped into her inbox. She lifted her glasses and leaned into the computer screen. King never ruled out the possibility of forgery, but she continued to warn against a rush to judgment.
More scientific tests were under way, and the similarities with the Gospel of Thomas were hardly incriminating. In the mids, a master forger from Utah named Mark Hofmann duped experts with manuscripts he claimed to have found that would have upended the official history of the Mormon Church. He used antique paper; made ink from historic recipes; and artificially aged his manuscripts with gelatin, chemical solutions, and a vacuum cleaner.
But Hofmann was unmasked after a pipe bomb—which police believe was intended for someone he feared might expose him—blew up in his own car. He often expressed doubts about his finds, making experts feel they were discovering signs of authenticity that he himself had somehow missed. When I called Joe Barabe, a renowned microscopist who has helped expose several infamous fakes, he told me that most forgers try to unload their creations on the unwitting; scholars are usually the last people they want eyeballing their handiwork.
After Walter Fritz rebuffed my request to meet in Florida, I called the North Port Sun and asked whether its staff had ever photographed him. It was the first sign that Fritz might have lied during our phone call. Judging from public records, Fritz arrived in Florida no later than In , he incorporated Nefer Art. Also featured were fragments of two seemingly ancient manuscripts—one in Arabic and another in Greek. I e-mailed the images of these manuscripts to a few scholars, who found them almost comical.
Two experts in ancient Arabic manuscripts told me that the script on the other fragment was backwards, as if someone had photographed it in a mirror. What happened next felt almost too easy. On August 26, —more than three weeks before King announced her discovery to the world, when only her inner circle knew of the papyrus and her name for it—Walter Fritz registered the domain name www.
It was my first piece of hard evidence linking Fritz to the papyrus. In January, I flew to Germany to search for more. The taxi ride from Tegel Airport into the heart of Berlin was a blind slog through labyrinths of graffiti-clad apartment blocks, in fog and light snow. Laukamp had lived in Potsdam, in Soviet-occupied East Germany, as a child. As a young man, he fled to West Berlin by swimming across the Griebnitzsee, a lake on the border. The story of Laukamp acquiring six Coptic papyri in Potsdam in thus seemed to hinge on a dubious scenario: that not long after his illegal escape, he slipped back into East Germany, got the papyri, and then risked his freedom—and possibly his life—in a second illicit crossing to the West.
Could they picture Laukamp seeking a consultation with a university Egyptologist? The Ernests gave each other a look, then burst out laughing. Laukamp had the minimum schooling required by German law, they said—the equivalent of eighth grade. In , Irmtraut Munro had been learning Coptic and studying papyri while working toward a doctorate in Egyptology. He was good-hearted, she said, recalling how he brought breakfast to a homeless man in a park where he walked his dog.
When I mentioned the name Walter Fritz, she stiffened. As I spoke with people around Berlin, a picture of Fritz began to take shape. He slipped through your fingers. When Fritz turned up at the Free University around , it was in the guise of a man who already had it made. He said from that second on yelling at me he was the final judge and Arbitor in his life of what he was allowed. I was terrified by this point, and ran for the door when he reduced my outfit to shreds telling me I had not been a wife in 3 decades and by god I was going to start being one that evening.
He did not give me any choice, I was begging it did not have to happen this way. I said we could cancel the evening and everyone try to reason things out. I was saying that since things were not meant to happen as they did it was his own defiancs that caused it if just once he could have found joy at work in the moment things might not have ended up this way. He forced me that night leaving me bleeding slightly and hurt from resisting. His fathers best friend arrived and told him to get out of his way he wanted to see me.
He ended up slamming face first in the concrete icy drive right in front of his arriving mother and father A while latter his father ran for his life threatened to meet the same fate.. There is not any way to aramge a peace now. His mother died in June wanting a way to find a peace. Its now my husband controls finances and times for trips with an iron fist. I was invited to go on a river cruise that was to replace the Cancun trip that went so bad last year. My husband would not approve the funds unless he went so I had to decline the invitation. For 33 years we tried to get him to think a different way about his rights.
Think of just taking the times and life nobody else needed. He became so concentrated on revenge ion me, his father and many others he never looks at any thing with trust at all. A high tech clock. He had covered the outside of his parents house with the same and set up a large wagon wheel with rawhide wrist ties with a sign that said at five that evening the entire city was invited to see the uppity slave get whipped. This was his gift to his parents. The New century was not starting with everything clean and new as we hoped. I have not stopped crying except when away from his anger about no sex, working all the time without time off.
We just hoped one day he would accept different ways of getting something of what he wanted. I now have a 3 year old from that horrible day in early I feel if just one time he had worked on a way to get what he wanted without stomping on someones needs in the deal. That he could have had at least a little of the life he wanted instead of hurting everyone in getting it. It got to the point a weapon was produced and the holder of that weapon was hurt so badly in many cases they ran for any where he was not.
On man lost an arm over it. He forced me into a sex life, he broke his fathers neck waiting to board the Cancun cruise because he objected to my husbands going. With Civil Rights and state charges of Marital misrepresentation and extortion. I did not know when a woman does not tell her husband right from the get go that sex was dependent on his cooperation. Nobody knows what to do now. Since I suffer BI Polar my husband has the right to deprive me of our son if we separate. The state keeps updating the Guardianship on me Has since requiring my husband to supply all support.
Nobody meant for things to turn out this way, It just was an impossible situation where he was the only one that could provide the times and knowledge needed to fill. I am not ungratful for the life he provided. I just wish one time he was not defiant in it. Callie, This is far, far too much to deal with. Have you looked into what kind of support services are available in your area? Please do. No one should have to navigate such extremes on their own.
My husband and I have been together for six years and have a 2. It seems that each time I forgive him he does something stupid again that rocks the foundation of our marriage. For years, I have thought that my lack of sex drive was due to hormones and the challenges of having a child but lately, I have realized that it is just resentment. It is hard to want to be intimate with your partner when you are disappointed. I need help. I want my marriage back. I want to enjoy my husband and not be so annoyed with him all the time.
Oh, I hope I can change. Sara recently posted.. Enough of the Fighting, Already! Hang in there, Sara—you CAN turn things around, really. Tanja We have been under court ordered family therapy since August of , The weekend before the order was issued his father and two men showed up at the house we were getting ready to sell so we could complete our move west after the troubles in His father wanted a breakfast meeting with me about the coming Cruse In the spring of without my husbands constant no it was not going to be the way we wanted.
We were trying to get the original group one last vacation together that had done it since every three years. This time my husband was not taking he was not going laying down, He had canceled a loan I made to his fathers best friend for the trip. That was the first Thing that was stopped, the next was He took it upon himself to make a double berth for us.
Locking his Reservation numbers and passport in a safe deposit box where we were moving to so we could not cancel his trip again. My husband had stopped letting me go to any discussions about him without his being there. IT came down to two friends pointing a 9MM and. MY husband did not tell them they were being recorded by CCD camara and mics. I did not know my husband had installed them for the new owners and was testing them.
We left after he put his chest up to both weapons and dared them to pull the dam triggers he would meet them in hell to show them personally to their torments. HE said be the men they claimed to be and show they would take a needle, Everyone ran for his fathers car convinced of my husbands insanity. I told him that there was nothing I could do.
The waitress was just setting out our meal when my husband stepped out from behind her All we heard was my husbands sister scream watch out and that heavy cane swung across the table four times laying the two men that had held weapons on him out with their faces cut to the bone. We were lucky there were four off duty officers there they got my husband to the floor and called the Watch captain in. In the post interview with my husband they had no choice but to release my husband with the recording of the front deck, It bought everything to a head in the courts and we were assigned family counsiling, Nobody in his fathers circle is allowed to hold or buy a weapon now.
I would have done any thing including have a totaly different cruise any where with my husband to have stopped the carnage but he is so set on defying the wishes of everyone I was friends with. His father tried to get my husband off the cruise several ways First promising his son would give up his berth and give me the single to let another couple have the double , That ended with everyone going home and his father laying in front of our hotel room with a ball bat in one hand and his neck broken. I told my husband he could drive down and meet me the last day of mardi gras, and we could drive home together, He said Oh I am just to be your Chaufer for miles then.
I told my friends no I was not going. I try getting along with everyone, he does mnot even try convinced its only to use him again. Calli, sweetie, you have SO much going on here that this is way outside my scope. Is the court-ordered therapy helping? And do they provide you with additional resources?
There are too many moving pieces to your story, and many of them are outside my experience. Good luck, sister. Tanja: My husband left for High range yesterday its a old hunting Cabin High in the Moutains that can only be axcesed By helicopter or a horse ride of nearly three days. He has Regular Flights Bring him Supplies either By Air drop or By helicopter Hes mounted point to point communication dishes on the Rim and Has so many ways of producing power he will never run out in that isolative place.
It points at a cell relay 15 miles away If the snows flying then Communications are problematic. I know hes got a supply drop Schedualed for mid week next week. I have talked to my mother and She wants to come stay until I come back down from High range. She says my husband has made it so comfortable up there she cant understand my aversion to staying there the winter. My husband Is teaching him the things that interest him From Astronomy to woodcraft and navigating in the wild.
I had hoped to teach my son there was a more civilized way to look at things that was not his fathers ideals toward social order. He growing up just as wild as his father and just as smart. But i believe my husband is emotionally stunted. Someone who spent so much time in isolation he does not deal with social issues in a reasonable way. My husband resent for over years now.
Now I told him I will work 5x than before to prove it you that I can do it.. Hi, I am going through the same thing with my husband. We have been married 27 years. Have you found anything that has helped you? Thanks for any advice you can pass along. I need some encouragement or help.
I feel that I have built up so much resentment from a lot of things. And maybe our marriage would possibly in prove? Amanda, Raising a 2-month-old and a toddler at the same time is brutal, so kudos to you both for that. Are you asking for what you need from your husband? Also give him some time off in return. But the key here is a learning how to communicate and b figuring out how to act like a team instead of the individuals you used to be before you had kids.
Maybe some books or marital counseling could help on this one? Get the help and support you need. This is not the time to suffer in silence! This is a deep article. We have been married since together since When we met, I was with someone who was very abusive I had 2 kids with this man I ended up leaving this abusive man after he ended up choking me til I passed out on the floor of my kitchen on Easter Morning of My best friend lived downstairs with her mom and her brother. He asked me out on a date and I said yes. Our first date was a trip to the carnival with my kids. We started seeing each other and then moved in together.
He moved me and my kids away from the ex and showed us a whole new world.
He asked my father permission to marry me and after he got his approval, asked me. It was like a fantasy at first. My father suffered a heart condition, had surgery and moved in with us so that I could take care of him. We were married in summer of and by summer I was pregnant with our first child. By then we moved into a bigger house and then moved again after things happened. At the time he was driving an hour to and from work. A decrease in pay made him seek employment elsewhere. He found a job with a trucking company and we discussed that it would be good for us.
His work schedule would have him out on the road for 14 days home for 4 days. That year he was home for Thanksgiving and Christmas, but not New Years and he missed Valentines day as well. I ended up having to schedule my sons birth according to WHEN he could get home. And after my child was born we moved again, hoping to be closer to somewhere he could get home more frequently.
He got there 2 days later and was home for the funeral but gone the next day. In August we moved again and he got a local job in November. It was wonderful. One day he was looking at the rental prices in Florida and well…we moved again. This time the move was horrible. When we got to Florida, the place we sent a deposit to had no windows, or doors and the flooring was plywood. I sat there and cried and cried as well as my 2 older kids We lived in a motel for weeks and then got help from a church to get a place. He got a local job with construction and I thought things would get better.
The place we got into was infested with roaches , so we moved into his bosses rental home. Instead , we found us a gorgeous rental on a white sandy beach. I made a few friends and he was gone again. He started staying out on the road more and more. We ended up moving over times so that we would be able to see him more often.
I feel used, unloved by the kids and the man. I am just here to do their bidding…. Wanna talk about resentments.. I feel this marriage and family is doomed. I feel like a parenting failure and an over all failure as a human being. I resent having met him,I resent marrying him and having a child with him. I resent him for choosing to be away from us all the time. I resent him for not being home when I almost died 2x from medical emergencies. I resent the last 13 years of my life…. I resent not being smarter then to allow it to happen…And I resent the fact that I…even after all that…Do love him.
And after I click send…i will probably resent this comment…. Truckers lonely wife recently posted.. Notes from the Colorado Flood.
Have you ever considered counseling? Hang in there, friend. Then take care of your children, and I promise everything will work out. Trust me on this one — with love, Tanja. Here is a random advice from a random guy — lack of social contact will drive anyone nuts. You need to get a job, or volunteer at school or something. You will be in touch with other ppl , will give you chance to socialize and keep you grounded. Your husband is just being a bad husband…or the other narrative is that he is working his rear-end off to support the family. But he is too proud to admit it to you and prefers that you stay home.
I cannot tell you how much your words meant. I have tears rolling down my face just reading it. I have been taking it the wrong way I think, and should look at it more from his perspective. Thank you so much again for posting, and I really do hope it gets easier for you and the family. When you are home, do you fight a lot? We need to be fulfilled emotionally. We need to know that our husbands love us. And no, she will not know that just by you working. To her, you are just doing what you need to do. The love gets translated with things like kind words, hugs, random presents to let her know you are thinking about her not necessarily expensive gifts , texts on the phone once in a while saying something funny, complementing her in person.
She basically needs to know that she is in your heart and mind. And hopefully once you are there, she will start doing everything in the world for you. She will insist you rest when you are home, she will make your favorite anything, she will greet you with smiles and hugs as long as you nurture that love. WIshing you a successful marriage. Great post with honest insights and a great takeaway message on the inticracies of a marriage relationship. Resentment is a stumblinck block for both partners, even if only one is dealing with those feelings.
Thanks for the post. Family Law West Palm Beach recently posted.. Thanks, Family Law. I hate who I am with him and I hate who I have become with him. I hate spending time with him because we really having nothing to say to each other. I on the other hand, have little to nothing as a result of being with my husband. He has little to no income and I am the bread winner and the one with a full time job.
My husband works when he wants to. He pays only five bills in the household electric, water, sewage, phone and tv and many times these are late and I have to pay them anyways yes we have had our electric, tv, phone etc. He gives me no money for food, no money for our mortgage, no money for insurance car or health and no money towards fixing anything in the house. I pay for everything myself, including all the clothing and expenses for the children.
He has never even given me one dollar towards Christmas or birthdays gifts for the kids. I do it all myself. Like I said, I have done everything you suggested therapy, kicking him out, threaten him, given in to his ways, not talking to him, talking to him all the time, etc. I only stay because of the children. If I could have one wish it would be to do it all over again without him…but then I would not have my wonderful children. I have given up on any dreams or hopes I had for a future and I now realize I will likely never be able to retire and will probably have nothing to show for all the years I have work.
Instead I will be stuck trying to figure out how at 75 I will be able to take care of myself and him because he will have nothing, no retirement, no social security and no income and all the burden will be on me to take care of him then too. Worst of all I feel like a failure to my children…I should have never picked a man that could not take care of us, he is a terrible example for what a man should me and that is my fault for not being more selective.
So maybe the larger question it comes down to is what do you want out of your life? And why do you feel like you need to stay in this marriage if all it does is make you miserable? My parents got divorced when I was young, and yes, it sucked to high heaven. My situation is exactly the same as yours, Forever Resentful. Additionally, my husband filed for his and mine bankruptcy 14 years ago because he used my credit cards.
To me all this has been devastating since I have been a hardworking, got my master degree in Architecture having a new born and always acted very responsibly. I did not take it very hard because my parents were very clear with me about it being just between them. It probably helped a lot that I never saw them fight, not once. They just went in separate directions, and then I saw my daddy in the summers. I wish I had seen my daddy more often, but that is something for me to keep in mind as an adult involved with another adult and considering kids in the future.
Children are not happier with unhappy parents that stay together. Children will notice how you feel and how the other parent feels. I am a preschool teacher, and everything I feel during a day feeds how the day goes. Respecting yourself and your children will make a huge impact on their experience and their expectations in life partners. Yes, yes, yes! The other thing it does is teach your kids that this is what they should expect when they get married—more unhappiness. Just creates a vicious cycle —.
Leave this man! Get a future. You CAN make a future for yourself. Your future is just waiting for you to act. You can do it girl; lots of women have. One other question I have regarding this, and this is something my husband has casted up to me time and time again over the years…specifically, the last time we went to a counselor for therapy the counselor ask me directly if I would think of this situation differently if I were the women making less and he was the bread winner making more money?
Am I being sexist? But frankly for years I have supported myself and pushed myself to achieve more and more so this is confusing to me … Again I guess I must have missed the memo that told me I had the option to do otherwise. Again, he has all the options and I have all the responsibility. Sometimes you might need to go through a few before you find the right one.
A good therapist can help with this, as well as help you figure out the bigger picture. For example, would you be OK with your husband not making much money if he shoulders more of the house or child care responsibilities? I really believe that a good marriage is a living, growing breathing thing—truly. I think we get into trouble when we stop growing or get mired in old beliefs. Our kids are happier, too. I feel like I am on the other side of the resentment. I didnt realize how resentful my now ex-husband was over how things had evolved in our marriage until it was too late.
He resented that I did not return to work soon enough after having kids. He did not see or ask about why I made decisions at that time, such as post partum depresssion, no work opportunities in that field that knew of or experience for that matter, and even if I did find work it would have effected vacations because I couldnt leave at whim like he wanted. We have three kids.
I didnt clean and take care of house as he thought it should, basically he was ocd and I was always doing my best but wastn good enough, so I subconsciously gave up on a lot why bother if its redone by him, etc. Found out we were 20, in debt and blamed me because I wasnt as involved in budget even though I am not the spender.
He didnt even want to do alimony after me being home with kids for over 10 years. Just told me finding a decent job shouldnt be a problem with a degree so do something. We divorced, the counselor told me my main thing was to get strong, that how I did things wasnt wrong or even meant to take advantage. He had epiphanies, knew we needed to communicate better. We talked and talked. Made plans on how to handle household things and budgets. Promised to go to marriage counseling again in January. A month after he moved back in and told kids that this was permanent, he went stone cold.
It was a stressful month of moving, and me being sick part of it. After asking how he was holding up he said he was starting to wig out and on the verge of bolting. That although things went as planned logistically and I was holding up my end of bargain, things were still bugging him like how things get done, not his way , but wouldnt tell me what it was because I am who I am and wont change so cant ask me to change more fair to an extent. So I am left with….. Limbo of a man that professed committment 2 months ago and now wigging out and now telling me that marriage counseling wont work its all him.
If it was just me I would ask him to leave, but to do that to the kids a second time in a ;year is so not fair. First time I talked to him in december about it I said there will be bumps so dont panic, but we need to talk. But does that mean I have to wait while he ices me out, I deserve to get some affirmation, but I am expected to wait for him to figure it out now? I have been committed to marriage in ups and downs unlike him, yet now it seems so one way. Not sure where to go from here.
The day he entered into my life, I was forced to submit to his family. Irony was that I was not allowed to connect to the people I was born with. We never lived together due to our work but at the birth of our first child, his parents came to my house. I was kept in my own house like a captive for 3 days. Afterwards, I was forced to re-connect to them but its impossible. My husband did all the best tactics of intimidating me so as to connect me to them but its even difficult to reunite to him let alone them.
Now husband is trying to put the things back to normal but something is missing. Raising a child alone is not easy, with full time work and it seems like I am killing myself with my own hands. If I discuss with friend or family they all ask me to be patient and they are not listening to me anymore. For me, I am waiting for the time the same thing happens to them but the abusers are back to their happy life after destroying our relationship, and I feel too bad when I see them happy.
The person who is suffering the most is my little baby, I realize that as well. Or some kind of support group for abused women. You can do it, sister, I know you can. My wife resents me for a few things, but mainly that I smoke cigarets and did not help her with the kids after they were born now they are 3 and 5.
I always had excuses like: I have to work, I have to finish this project on the house, etc. When I did watch them I was immediately out the door when she came back and worked for the remainder of the day. I now realize how nieve I am. She also battles with loosing her identity and living out her dreams.
There is a lot more to it than that but those are the basics….. It has been a lot of work and persistence to find the root of this problem due to the lack of communication between us. Now that I have discovered this, I want to do anything I can to help. I recognize my faults, apologized to her and the children, told her that I am not going to come up with excuses to justify what I have done-just admit that I was wrong.
Asked how I can help and what else can I do to make her happy again. I even asked if it is possible for her to love like she did when we met. That crushed me. When we got married and made that commitment to love and cherish each other til the end…I meant it. I love her more than life itself and will do anything to spend the rest of life with her and our girls.
What can I do, I will welcome constructive criticism and advice from you and all of your followers….. Instead of leaving it up to her to decide what you need to do, just start doing it. Anything that involves the house or kids cleaning the house is always welcome! Kind and loving words and gestures will also almost always help. Sue Johnson. I found this on google because…clearly, I feel resentful toward my husband.
I like your points quite a bit, however, I feel that I cannot use this in my marriage.
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I am very open and honest with my husband. What makes me feel resentful is that now matter how open I am with him about my feelings on things, nothing ever changes. My resentment comes from his knowledge of the things that hurt me and acting as though he cares and understands and then carrying on as though we never talked. For example, as I type this, my husband has been gone for 4 weeks to sniper school.
He gets the weekends of, which is generally when we talk. I am home alone with an 8 month old baby who is amazing and no family or friends in sight. Every weekend he goes to stay at his Moms, seeing as she lives close by. I have been waiting all week to talk to him, to have an adult conversation with the person I love!
It is currently midnight here…and he has yet to call. I know he has been talking to his Mom for the past 4 hours…and yet he waits until he is basically ready to pass out before calling me. I feel resentful that he has spent the last 4 hours talking and hanging out with his Mom, but will only spare me thr last 10 min of his day.
I feel resentful that he gets to sit and talk and laugh with people everyday while I sit at home and desperately wait for human interaction other than the incoherent babbling of a baby. I have told him how I feel about this more times than I can count and yet…here I sit again, as though nothing has changed. Not only this, but he knows I have to wake up early for our son. We have been through alcoholism, lying, and cheating. And yet, this is what I feel the most resentment about. For the record, I love my husband more than anything in the world and I know he loves me.
I have no intentions of leaving him, if I did I would have left a long time ago when bigger problems came up. But I do think you need to stop putting all your eggs in one basket and start putting up some boundaries to protect yourself. Life with an 8-month-old can be so tough and alienating and of course you need some support!
So how can you find some? Have you checked out local mom or baby-and-me groups?
But I do think first and foremost, you need to work on creating some community for yourself. This could help you so so much—trust me on this one! Can you hire a sitter a few hours a week so you can meet friends? So do whatever it is you need to do to take care of yourself and make yourself happy.
My last suggestion for you is to start putting up some boundaries so that you can protect yourself. What is is that your husband is giving you that makes you keep putting up with this awful behavior? If it is, get some professional help. I desperately need some advice. My husband and I have been married for almost 10 yrs. I have a son previously who has adhd. He is 17 and can be very disrespectful to my husband. My husband is so angry at me. And very resentful twords me. This maybe partially true and i can accept that. But I feel we are headed for divorce. I really try but apparently not hard enough.
When we argue he always threatens divorce and fights unfair in my opinion.
He has never even given me one dollar towards Christmas or birthdays gifts for the kids. They actively commission and perform newly composed works for four-hands and two pianos, incorporating visual and interactive components, often within unexpected concert formats. It got to the point a weapon was produced and the holder of that weapon was hurt so badly in many cases they ran for any where he was not. As a child, she began making up little ditties and developed an inescapable desire to create music; after a Indian fucking Missouri, when her family returned fuvking and settled down in Nashville, Missouti came to realize that writing and performing music would have to be a large part of her future. He came home after three years hard work learning to walk with no feeling in his legs. His father said its just seven more months what can he say.
I love him very much but he is a very self absorbed person. He clearly sees me and the kids as his burden. As far as everything else, it sounds like you could all use some support! My guess is that going to need some serious support to untangle all this. Do you have a therapist? Would you husband consider seeing a marital counselor? It might be time to ask yourself some hard questions and look at some of the bigger patterns at play here—such as: have you always taken care of everything in your marriage? You have a choice, too—remember that.
And everything you do impacts your children as does everything your husband does. Please find a way to get yourself and your kids the support you need in order to straighten out this awful situation.